to feelings. Dealing with anger does not mean that the person will not get angry; although in the long term, that might indeed be a desired outcome. The therapy actually helps a person isolate the problem or issue that is causing the acrimony and thereby giving a person a starting place to begin to deal with the particular issue. A person who engages in anger management therapy will learn how to appropriately respond to their temper rather than reacting to it. Instead of lashing out at people (usually reserved for those who are physically or emotional near), a person will learn coping skills that take these people out of the line of fire.
Anger is such an isolating condition. No one wants to be the brunt of someone's tirade. Self-control is essential to civility. Often times angry episodes include violent actions, verbal abuse, and intimidation causing fear. In anger management therapy the triggers of these explosive events can be uncovered. There is definitely a history that proceeds this behavior. Sometimes exposing the history is enough to get to the root of the problem. However, as human beings, people do not like to open themselves up to potential judgment by others. Therefore, the discovery process may be difficult. Diligence and persistence may eventually compel a person to open up. Effective anger management therapy will use subtle and transparent techniques to get the person talking. "Beating the person over the head, (figuratively, of course) has no merit and will produce minimal results; if any at all. The key is to replace aggression with assertion. This is not an easy sell to an aggressive person. The person needs to discover that a situation dealt with effectively can produce a positive outcome. As a matter of fact, it could be win-win.
The main skill a person will need to learn in anger management therapy is communication. In the therapy, the idea of taking a person's thoughts into captivity and not acting out on them is fundamental. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). A person can learn to pause after a thought comes into their head, take a breather (count to 10), and make a decision about the best thing to do with that thought. Often people, who have self-control issues, are attempting to control the behavior of someone else. This never works, of course. In the short term, or for a limited period of time, a person will allow a person to call the shots. But, this gets old after a while because power breeds more power. Instead of measuring the use of this control with a thimble, the angry person begins to use tablespoons, then cups, then gallons, and on and on. Losing control can lead a person down a slippery slope that may end in the person losing their freedom.
Because of the escalating nature of both power and passion, victims in these situations must either leave or the person must diligently seek to recover their self-control through anger management therapy. What happens, more times than not, is that victims leave. New victims replace the past victims and the cycle continues until either an unfortunate, but preventable, tragedy ensues or the angry person realizes that they are on the losing side of the equation. Not only are victims victims, but the perpetrators are also victims. Most people do not take into consideration that there are physical ramifications of aggressive outbursts. Anger can cause high blood pressure, hypertension, and/or depression. The weird thing about that is that it doesn't depend upon whether or not the displeasure is expressed. Frankly, although expressed anger may be dangerous to victims, it is also dangerous to the perpetrator. And unexpressed vexation is even more directly dangerous to the perpetrator; making anger management therapy all the more critical for this person.
Some pathological expressions of indignation come out in ways other than outbursts. When a person is constantly putting others down, making cynical comments, and critical of everything and everybody, there is usually a root in anger. People with these behaviors rarely recognize them as anger. They choose to deal with people passive-aggressively. Unfortunately, forging meaningful relationships is not usually possible. Therefore, they are generally unhappy people with few, if any, friends. And even when they do successfully develop a relationship, it often degrades in a short period. Anger management therapy, in a group setting, can be very beneficial for anyone with these types of issues; however for the person who is passive-aggressive, it is of particularly tremendous value. The idea is to engage in cognitive restructuring. What this means is altering the way a person thinks. People who are angry often speak in colorful language (cursing or using very dramatic and exaggerated words). These words resonate their inner thoughts. Replacing negative, derogatory, and pessimistic thoughts with more positive, appreciative, and favorable ones will begin to rewire a person's thinking.
Anger is such an isolating condition. No one wants to be the brunt of someone's tirade. Self-control is essential to civility. Often times angry episodes include violent actions, verbal abuse, and intimidation causing fear. In anger management therapy the triggers of these explosive events can be uncovered. There is definitely a history that proceeds this behavior. Sometimes exposing the history is enough to get to the root of the problem. However, as human beings, people do not like to open themselves up to potential judgment by others. Therefore, the discovery process may be difficult. Diligence and persistence may eventually compel a person to open up. Effective anger management therapy will use subtle and transparent techniques to get the person talking. "Beating the person over the head, (figuratively, of course) has no merit and will produce minimal results; if any at all. The key is to replace aggression with assertion. This is not an easy sell to an aggressive person. The person needs to discover that a situation dealt with effectively can produce a positive outcome. As a matter of fact, it could be win-win.
The main skill a person will need to learn in anger management therapy is communication. In the therapy, the idea of taking a person's thoughts into captivity and not acting out on them is fundamental. "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled. (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). A person can learn to pause after a thought comes into their head, take a breather (count to 10), and make a decision about the best thing to do with that thought. Often people, who have self-control issues, are attempting to control the behavior of someone else. This never works, of course. In the short term, or for a limited period of time, a person will allow a person to call the shots. But, this gets old after a while because power breeds more power. Instead of measuring the use of this control with a thimble, the angry person begins to use tablespoons, then cups, then gallons, and on and on. Losing control can lead a person down a slippery slope that may end in the person losing their freedom.
Because of the escalating nature of both power and passion, victims in these situations must either leave or the person must diligently seek to recover their self-control through anger management therapy. What happens, more times than not, is that victims leave. New victims replace the past victims and the cycle continues until either an unfortunate, but preventable, tragedy ensues or the angry person realizes that they are on the losing side of the equation. Not only are victims victims, but the perpetrators are also victims. Most people do not take into consideration that there are physical ramifications of aggressive outbursts. Anger can cause high blood pressure, hypertension, and/or depression. The weird thing about that is that it doesn't depend upon whether or not the displeasure is expressed. Frankly, although expressed anger may be dangerous to victims, it is also dangerous to the perpetrator. And unexpressed vexation is even more directly dangerous to the perpetrator; making anger management therapy all the more critical for this person.
Some pathological expressions of indignation come out in ways other than outbursts. When a person is constantly putting others down, making cynical comments, and critical of everything and everybody, there is usually a root in anger. People with these behaviors rarely recognize them as anger. They choose to deal with people passive-aggressively. Unfortunately, forging meaningful relationships is not usually possible. Therefore, they are generally unhappy people with few, if any, friends. And even when they do successfully develop a relationship, it often degrades in a short period. Anger management therapy, in a group setting, can be very beneficial for anyone with these types of issues; however for the person who is passive-aggressive, it is of particularly tremendous value. The idea is to engage in cognitive restructuring. What this means is altering the way a person thinks. People who are angry often speak in colorful language (cursing or using very dramatic and exaggerated words). These words resonate their inner thoughts. Replacing negative, derogatory, and pessimistic thoughts with more positive, appreciative, and favorable ones will begin to rewire a person's thinking.
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